If I have learned anything this past year with Griffin, it's that gratitude will set you free. It sounds so cliche, I know. But, if amid the chaos, fear, heartache, and doubt you can still find things to be truly thankful for, then I guarantee you, you will find everything you need to endure and, maybe, even more.
I thought I had been grateful for my life and all the things my family had been blessed with before Griffin. It's funny, though, the perspective and clarity you are given about yourself when someone like Griffin comes into your life. Perhaps, I was grateful as much as I could be at that time, with the life experiences I had had this far. But Griffin came and it became something far more than just a time of year or the occasional look around and offering of thankfulness. The practice of gratitude has in many ways become my lifeline.
I found this quote recently thanks to a friend of mine in our Williams community, and I felt it in every part of my soul when I read it. Thank you, Melody Beattie, for providing the words. The verity of this statement has carried me through on so many occasions since Griffin's birth that I have lost count.
It is an irrevocable truth that cannot be undone, no matter what the circumstances are: "Give thanks for a little, and you will find a lot," as the Hansa Proverb affirms to us.
By making a conscious and intentional decision to be grateful for the things I still had, the things that were still good, and for everything that Griffin is despite the physical "imperfections" that sometimes have threatened his life, and have most certainly altered all of ours who love him in the most permanent sense, the unbearable became tolerable, the unendurable revealed glimmers of light and hope, even gave us moments of joy. Gratitude got us through and promised us that no matter what happened, we would make it through the darkness. Even if we came out the other side in pieces, we would still have enough to put it all back together again.
I'll be honest: I had NEVER understood any of this before Griffin. I even grew up with the bible verse that tells us to give thanks in ALL things being pounded into my head and being, and still, I did not understand or agree with that sentiment. (For those who are not familiar with it: "Rejoice in the Lord always. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7.) That seemed to me like not only utter nonsense written by a likely self-righteous man who surely was not capable of this himself, but an absolute impossibility to execute. That's probably blasphemous to admit, but nothing in those words seemed achievable to me. I was the definition of anxiety, worry, and "realism".
Don't get me wrong I would still try, to some degree. But, I never was truly capable of giving thanks in hard times. The adversity just always seemed too glaring, too vast. Then Griffin came, and now I get it.
Whether you believe in those words and the strength coming from Jesus or a higher power, or you believe in the power of positive thinking and enduring, it all stands as the same truth: if you can be grateful for what you do have, no matter how little there may be to sift in a pool of loss and heartache, you'll find what you need to get through - you'll find peace and strength in those things that would otherwise leave us bereft and sorrowful.
I am by no means an expert at any of this. I am still very much learning the art and discipline that is gratitude and thanksgiving. But I'm beginning to understand and get the hang of it and, truly, I am so very grateful.
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