I sat down this morning to finish some of the drafts I had sitting in my blog bank (as I like to call it) and do some editing on the website when I realized: I should create a profile on here with my own name and face, especially if I want to have people come in as guest writers or collaborate on things in the future. In the process of this, I realized I have never really introduced myself here. I just dived right in and bared my soul...which is highly out of character for me by the way.
So, here is a little bit about me:
I love coffee. No, coffee is actually my love language. I love everything about it: the flavor, the camaraderie you find in people who also love it, how it pairs with any occasion, meal, or time of day if you know how to do it right, the bad jokes and puns people who also love coffee come up with, that first sip of piping hot comfort in the morning or when you sit down on a cold day with a good book and nowhere to be. If I could justify drinking nothing but coffee all day, I would totally do it. It's kind of an obsession...obviously. I'm weird I know. But, if you ever need to know the way to my heart, there ya go!
I also love butter. And food in general.
I love to read (though I absolutely hated it as a kid) and I love to write (duh.)
I was a CNA, Med Aide, and then Medical Assistant over the course of the last 10 years. I worked in long-term care, drug and alcohol rehabilitation, memory care, NICU, and Oncology, and I loved my job and what I did.
I used to mountain bike and hike every chance I got no matter what the weather was here in Idaho, and I loved that better than any time in the gym or shopping trip. Obviously with pregnancy and now Griffin we haven't done much of that, but we'll get back to it one day and I hope to instill a love of the outdoors in him too....otherwise we will just have to drag him kicking and screaming because it's 3 to 1 at that point. (Confession: I actually hate going to the gym. Like, I loathe it. I created a home yoga studio just so I could justify not having a membership or at least attempting to develop a love of running. That's now Griffin's room....so I guess I have no choice but to cave and force myself now. But I probably won't, if we're being honest here.)
My husband and I only knew each other 3 months before we got engaged, 6 months before we got married, and got pregnant with our oldest son a month after we got married - we were 19 and 21. Super smart, I know. But, here we are against all odds and a whole lot of lessons learned the hard way, 14 years later. He's my best friend and the love of my life. And yes, regardless, I do still want to step on his big toe really hard some days. I'm sure the feeling is mutual, though.
Over the past 14 years, I've moved from Washington state to Oregon, to Nebraska, and finally Idaho (or Idahome as we call it since we bought a home and put down roots).
I have a pretty wicked sense of humor...and I don't mean that in like a "wicked cool dude" sort of way (well, I suppose that depends on who you talk to), I love all things rude, crude, and socially unacceptable when it comes to a good punch line. I think you have to be able to find the humor in anything and everything when you work in health care and/or are a special needs parent. There is just not enough wine in the world otherwise. Real talk!
I'm actually not a huge people person. I love people's stories, and I love to help people. But, if you ask me to go to a party and/ or socialize over cocktails and appetizers at happy hour, I would really rather not. Not only does this require attire other than yoga pants and forces me to put on a bra - I really don't like small talk. I can do it, I just don't want to. I'm probably the most extraverted-introvert you'll ever meet.
I'm also a bailer (not proud). It always sounds like a good idea at the time when I say yes, and then 5 minutes before I'm presented with that whole putting on a bra thing and actually leaving my house, suddenly my couch and a cup of coffee in blissful solitude just sounds soooooo much better. I have been consciously working on this the past few years though, because it's not nice, and nobody like's the friend who won't show up for the fun stuff.
I love words: I love quotes, I love random words, I love big words, I love little-known words. I love when you listen to the lyrics of a song or poem and out of nowhere you realize that that is EXACTLY how you've been feeling, you just didn't have quite the right words for it, but then there they are - all thanks to a stranger who can, evidently, totally relate to you. I love how powerful words are, and I love how they can take something that's ordinary and make it all-together magical, or express the profound depth of grief, or paint a picture of a place you will probably never go to so clearly that it almost doesn't matter that you'll never make it there.
Speaking of words you've probably never heard of unless you geek out on literary stuff as I do - I am an EXPERT coddiwompler (which actually isn't a word as defined by any dictionary but means "to travel in a purposeful manner towards a vague destination".) I have never known where I was headed, what I wanted to be, where I wanted to go, or much of anything. But regardless, I march toward wherever it is I'm headed, always, with full steam, conviction, and determination. Think of a toddler who believes they're 35 and they know what's going on. That's pretty much me in a nutshell. I give myself kudos for dedication and sheer force of will though, and I don't throw too many tantrums.
Ironically, for what I have previously just admitted, I am still a recovering control freak. I might not know the end result or even why I'm doing it, or if I even want to be doing it, but I'm going to do it to the absolute best of my ability, no matter what "it" is. I expect way too much of myself - a "perfectionist" I believe is what they call it. I also have a tendency to expect way too much of others as a consequence. I somehow feel the need to fix almost everything I encounter - inefficient workflow, sad puppies, faulty plumbing, whatever. I don't even have to know what I'm doing or be the expert. I'll study up on it so I can become proficient enough to do the fixing. It's kind of ridiculous. I did let Urijah put ALL the ornaments on the Christmas tree for the past two years now and I only rearranged a few after he was done. If that's not progress, I don't know what is.
I love and adore my kids. They are slowly driving me nuts, they were never on the loose agenda I had for my life, and I did not think I would make a very good mother. But then I had my older son, and the first moment I held him it was like someone had finally thrown my purpose at me and said "Here, this is what you're supposed to do." Everyone says it, but truly, I had no idea you could love any one person so much that you are willing to do anything and everything within your power to make their life meaningful, intentional, magical, and worthwhile. My grandma had joked with me when I told her I was pregnant for the first time, "you know this is terminal, right?" I had no idea how true those words were, but what a wonderfully mixed bag motherhood is when you're given the mission and entrusted with these tiny humans, and you are suddenly capable of sacrifice you never knew you had in you. I do really miss sleep though, and I would not be this tired for ANYBODY else. Remember that boys when I'm old, probably incontinent which will be no one's fault but yours because you both sat on my bladder for a combined total of a year and a half, and it's your turn to take care of me.
That was all probably a gross oversharing of information, but given the things I have already shared over the past 8 months with you all, I think this is a safe space to word-vomit and overly confess. Thanks for taking the time to get to know me, and as always, thank you for sharing in this journey and supporting Griffin and our family.
Much love and many thanks!
Kommentare