It's the night before your surgery to finally repair your heart. When I woke up this morning I didn't expect this, though, in hindsight that's silly. By now I should always expect the unexpected when it comes to life with you, and that's not a bad thing.
I am filled with hope, excitement, relief, and joy that you will finally get what you should have been given two years ago. The thought that you will come out of this with a much closer to whole and healthy heart, how you will thrive now that you'll be given the chance to really sore, fills my heart with so much gratitude and promise.
But I'm scared too. The unknowns you so graciously and fearless dance through, I struggle to keep pace with. I'm heartbroken I am not there with you now, and it cracks a little more each time I think about tomorrow morning, and that I won't be there to grasp your hand and walk with you to the very last step they'll allow me and remind you it's going to be ok no matter what, even when I have to tell myself that a million times over until I believe it too. I'm so, so sorry.
You are so strong and I know you're going to be ok, better than ok. I'm so thankful Daddy is there with you and you have the person who makes you the happiest in the world to walk with you to your big stage. I know you're going to leave us all amazed and in absolute awe.
But more than what I know, I want YOU to know, above all else:
God holds you in the palm of His hand. He will never leave you, and He will never forsake you. If we have to put you in anyone else's hands but our own, I'm so everlastingly grateful they are His, and the surgeons, doctors, and nurses that He has blessed with His immense gifts.
We - are- SO - VERY - PROUD - of - YOU! You have fought so hard and hung on for so very long. Please, please keep fighting.
I adore you more than I will ever be able to say. You simply smile and my every heartache evaporates. You clap your hands in joy and I'm transported to the most important place in the whole world. You wrap your arms around my neck and I am whole. You make every part of life meaningful, magical, and complete. You are the piece of the puzzle I needed but never knew I was missing until I found you.
I love you falls so terribly short, but I hope you know and feel every single bit of it.
I love you forever and ever,
Mommy
P.S. I'll see you when you wake up and give you all the kisses and cuddles you can stand!
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